I’m amazed by the power of repair from Good Inside. I had some frustrations with my daughter this morning that I let out in a frustrated voice. It felt bad in my body, yet I clung to it. I almost felt that by holding on to that frustration I was justifying it as a valid feeling. But I wanted to make sure that I could give her genuinely loving hug and kiss when I dropped her off, so I repaired. I apologized to her with genuine tenderness about letting the frustration come to my voice. I smiled at her and told her I loved her while stroking her cheek. The truth of how much love I felt in those actions felt so good. And the result of her beaming and energetic hugs and kisses at the door
Mantra
No need to cling to showing hurt. Show love instead.
It feels so much better.
The 2024 Grading Conference started today, and in response to the first keynote, I was able to reflect with my colleague about what fires we think are in the house at Macalester and in higher education more broadly. I shared my thoughts about how AI will affect vocation and how tech companies are already affecting addiction culture and questioning what role educators have in helping students develop into the kind of people who will question the world they live in and quest for better.
I also got to reflect on something that I would like to do starting this semester. In messaging my “why?” about why I do the things I do in my courses, I tend to focus on the intellectual (“It’s good for you research says”), but I admitted that there is always a “me” reason—an emotional reason—that I don’t want to hide from my students anymore. (“I want you to put in effort too because I put in a lot of effort because I care that you learn. It hurts me when it seems that you’re not showing the same care.“) But gosh! As I write this, I feel that it comes on strong. How can I be true to how I feel while also being gentle and acknowledging my students’ constraints? I can. The solution (for me) is not to pretend that I don’t have feelings about what students do.