When I was reading slow down by Isabel yesterday, I thought it was interesting how she brought up several times how her childhood tendency to rush kept manifesting in other parts of her adult life. This came up in a discussion with my partner yesterday. He noted how my fear of being imperfect, which is very much rooted in my childhood, likely comes up in many other aspects of my life—including being a parent and a partner. This was a very insightful connection, and in the moment, I had to pause to register the many implications of that insight.
It is both surprising and completely expected that people whose philosophies guide them to a particular way of being still struggle with being in that way:
- Pooja Lakshmin still struggles with real self-care, as she writes about on her Substack.
- Becky Kennedy wrote about her struggles as a parent in Good Inside.
- My friend Chris, who writes about mindfulness, still struggles with aspects of it (like rushing), as he wrote in this postcard.
When I read it in others’ work, it is completely expected—in a soft-eyes, compassionate way. When I see it in myself, it always seems to be a shock. Interesting.
The difference between how we see ourselves and how we see others also came up directly in my discussion with my partner last night. He noted how often we know our good intentions but find it difficult to remember to think about others’ likely good intentions. He brought up an example of being cut off on the road vs. cutting someone off—how in the former we might be angry at the person cutting off and how in the latter we might regret it and hope that the other driver isn’t too upset. Overall this made me think about the many different ways in which we view ourselves differently from how we view others and how I’d like to continue exploring this as a reflection prompt.
I loved this part from Transparent Tuesdays #222:
I’m not going to follow somebody else’s blueprint. My path will be my own. It’s going to be different from everyone else because it has to be, because everyone’s path is different. One thing I know I will do is pay attention to the signs as they present themselves.