Whenever my husband and I have a conversation with someone new, my heart races. Is he going to ask it or will I? It’s usually him…but how will he ask it? He better time it well and not ask it right off the bat. Otherwise there will be stern words over dinner.
The conversation warms up with talk about hometowns, living in Minnesota, being new parents, the challenges of being first-time homeowners, jobs. Then a half second pause in the conversation, and I casually look at my husband. Is now the time?
”What sorts of hobbies are you into?”
My breath catches. Quietly. I turn to our new acquaintances and listen with the eagerness of a 5 year old who has just broached the subject of ice cream to her parents, but I keep the outward composure of an adult. Suddenly my Fitbit buzzes, reminding me that I haven’t taken 250 steps yet this hour. Crap. I want to walk in place but don’t want to look absurd. I can feel my heart beating more quickly. I make a mental note to look at my pulse trace later to see how my heart rate changed during this exchange. But I stay focused on the conversation with utmost tranquility.
Hiking (“We like day hiking but haven’t been in a while.”), gardening (“Our backyard is a mess. It’ll be our big summer project.”), watching shows (“Us too! Which ones do you like?”). Oh, also we play Dungeons and Dragons.
I grin like the Cheshire cat.
To invoke the spirit of the game, Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) is my lightning lure. In the game, Lightning Lure is a spell that creates a brief electrical whip that pulls an unsuspecting figure towards the caster. In life, a lightning lure is an electrifying idea that sparks deeper connection and magnetism between souls.
D&D is many different things to different people: it’s a group storytelling experience, a tactical war game, an outlet for artistic creativity, a way to get together with friends. I love the game for all of those reasons, but it entrances me at a much deeper level. I see it as a portal to alternate worlds, a realm where I can think about my biggest questions in life.
The stories that we can explore through the game’s campaigns are limitless. They allow us to explore ideas as expansive as the rise and fall of civilizations and as intimate as the relationship between a mother and a daughter. Fiction similarly has this universe of possibilities, but unlike fiction, D&D offers players a chance to be protagonists in these stories. Whenever I think about a problem that I wish I could solve, I think about how I could explore it through a D&D campaign.
Dungeons and Dragons energizes my thinking in all of the areas I hold dear. In a world where we can be set adrift in a storm of ideas, it is my lightning lure: the flash of light that transfixes and illuminates a path forward in the crashing waves.
I am so grateful to Chris Cordry, Leo Ariel, Jack Warshaw, and Lavinia Iosub for their wonderful feedback on this piece that made ideas more clear and writing more fun.